As I have said before I am just using this blog as a way of getting things out of my system, so I didn't see a point in writing an About Me post/page like all the other mum blogs.
To be honest I've never really understood why they were needed, I mean am a pretty guarded person in some ways when am online. I don't want total strangers knowing what my favourite takeaway place is or how many kids go to the local school. Even worse I dold want someone I do know writing about me about stuff I wouldn't normally chose to tell them at that stage of our relationship I guess.
Putting yourself whole self out there online for anyone to see scares me a little.
But then I read on a group post on facebook about how a women found it one of the hardest things to do. I thought about it for a while & it became a big thing ..... it wasn't just write your details it is writing about you. Not what you are like a mum or a wife but about the person, the single human form.
A writing about what defines you.
Describe yourself. Now this have been a challenge but a good one I needed to do.
This has been sitting in my drafts for over 4 weeks. I add bits and I take away bit ; filling it in a little at a time. It has made me contemplate who I am
I am in my late 30s and I have had two children with my husband. Never knew I wanted children until it happened now I wouldn't have it any other way.
I grew up with horses. I enjoyed riding the and I was very good at it. I am sad when I think about it as I gave that part of my life up many many years ago and I know it's just not possible o have that back.
I like traveling and really like to take my time getting to and from places. More county places , places with a history I enjoying learning about.
I'd and not much of a reader but when I find things - topics I'm interested in I'm happy to research it and find out more.
I believe everyone no matter rich, poor, a famous good person or a bush ranger should be remembered and have the respect paid to them once they are gone.
With the exception of major criminals. Family history should be kept and taken care of for the future and we should never forget where we come from.
I am passionate about remembering the Man, women and animals who died the Wars to eep us here safe at home and we should be feeling blessed every day .
Family is family and should be kept in contact, respected and never forgotten. Family is worth the effort.
So yer that's me. I like colouring in because I can't draw lol I enjoy singing when no one can hear me and the one hing I'd love to do would be to buy a camper van and travel Austrailia .
This is my page about living life as a woman, an ASD parent & a mother. I live in Australia & One of my children is autistic &I also have a teenager life is such a beautiful journey i thought why not share (some may say vent) a little .
Sunday 26 June 2016
Monday 20 June 2016
Having a child with autism is like ......
As I sit here watching my Younger son wander around the house making his noises that seem to calm him down I started thinking of writing this blog post...
And why I should write this. See I find it hard to call myself a 'parent of a special needs child'
Why you ask? I don't really know why. It's not like I hide the fact he was diagnosed with autism over 2 years ago or that he has teachers aids helping him at school. I'll tell anyone that ask about my son and his autism but I feel that because he is classed as High Functioning & not the 'classic ' autism child pictured in media and the like , I think others will look at me thinking I'm a lair or I'm one of those mums who think their child is so hard done by. So yes I worry what others will think but not think of my son - think of me as a person - as a mum.
Strange isn't it.
It's hard for parents of children who look on the outside as 'normal' but are vey differant to the main peers of their class. You can't always understand what you can not see I also find.
I know (for now at least at his age) he is accepted by his peers & adults at the moment.
But maybe I am worry if I will be understood and other mums will accept that my child takes differant parenting skills & needs then their child.
I know Raising a ' special needs ' child (let's use that wording for this blogs sake) can challage everything you use to think about parenting.See after D day ( the day you got the conformation of diagnoses ...) you have to start looking at your child as differant to other children And its scary.
See your dreams and aspirations you had for your child might not be possible , the child you have might end up living a wonderful full life but it's going to take a lot of work. And even know you can see how wonderful your child is & are so truely blessed to have a health child you, Can be scared and sadden by the fact of life that things will be harder for them.
Leaving you unsure of their future...
You have this natural instincts to wrap them up and protect them from the world outside...
Like all parents do.
But it's the constant fight that you have to keep up, the endless battle you are end to make sure your child is getting the help they need, to make sure they are given every opportunity , keep teachers and support workers doing their job so you child doesn't fall through the cracks. It's being your child's
advocate and it's a fight you will always be fighting. No matter how sick you get of it.
You want your child to be like others, you want invites to parties, sleepovers , you want kids to want to be friends with your child and not see their differances as weird.
What you don't want is t be holding your child in a dark bedroom under his bed while he crystal because he doesn't want to be weird, because he wanted to go to blakes sleepover party but knew he would feel overwhelmed & uncomfortable. That brings us to the next thing that is thrown at you - teaching your child that having Autism is ok now that can be the heart breaker.
Can tell you that one thing is for such, I know I am going to cry for my child many many times over the next few years as he goes into primary school.
Example is my son wanted to play football as all his peers where doing. His dad loves football & it's a real tough sport that boys are meant to be good at right? Well that's how it played out in my sons head but it was just not meant to be. He spent more times spinning around in circles at the back them playing. He didn't want anyone to touch him and wouldn't tackle anyone because he didn't want to touch anyone. So as you can guess it wasn't the right sport for him . Lucky we made sure he didn't feel like he had failed but it's hard for him .
Another one is going to the aquarium with friends. Rushing though half of the place because it was dark,flashing lights,lots of people , noisy ( it was set up to be like an under water cave show) so he didn't get to see the sea horses or the big crabs everyone was talking about that afternoon because he couldn't handle the overload on his sensors.
See what I mean, my heart breaks for him.
As I said I have only been a parent for just over 13 years and a special need parent for less so I am still learning , I will end up teaching my son to proud and happy with who he is that I am sure of.
I love him no matter what and I see so many wonderful things, gifts he has that I have not told you about today Next time I will because he is a special little boy 😁
And why I should write this. See I find it hard to call myself a 'parent of a special needs child'
Why you ask? I don't really know why. It's not like I hide the fact he was diagnosed with autism over 2 years ago or that he has teachers aids helping him at school. I'll tell anyone that ask about my son and his autism but I feel that because he is classed as High Functioning & not the 'classic ' autism child pictured in media and the like , I think others will look at me thinking I'm a lair or I'm one of those mums who think their child is so hard done by. So yes I worry what others will think but not think of my son - think of me as a person - as a mum.
Strange isn't it.
It's hard for parents of children who look on the outside as 'normal' but are vey differant to the main peers of their class. You can't always understand what you can not see I also find.
I know (for now at least at his age) he is accepted by his peers & adults at the moment.
But maybe I am worry if I will be understood and other mums will accept that my child takes differant parenting skills & needs then their child.
I know Raising a ' special needs ' child (let's use that wording for this blogs sake) can challage everything you use to think about parenting.See after D day ( the day you got the conformation of diagnoses ...) you have to start looking at your child as differant to other children And its scary.
See your dreams and aspirations you had for your child might not be possible , the child you have might end up living a wonderful full life but it's going to take a lot of work. And even know you can see how wonderful your child is & are so truely blessed to have a health child you, Can be scared and sadden by the fact of life that things will be harder for them.
Leaving you unsure of their future...
You have this natural instincts to wrap them up and protect them from the world outside...
Like all parents do.
But it's the constant fight that you have to keep up, the endless battle you are end to make sure your child is getting the help they need, to make sure they are given every opportunity , keep teachers and support workers doing their job so you child doesn't fall through the cracks. It's being your child's
advocate and it's a fight you will always be fighting. No matter how sick you get of it.
You want your child to be like others, you want invites to parties, sleepovers , you want kids to want to be friends with your child and not see their differances as weird.
What you don't want is t be holding your child in a dark bedroom under his bed while he crystal because he doesn't want to be weird, because he wanted to go to blakes sleepover party but knew he would feel overwhelmed & uncomfortable. That brings us to the next thing that is thrown at you - teaching your child that having Autism is ok now that can be the heart breaker.
Can tell you that one thing is for such, I know I am going to cry for my child many many times over the next few years as he goes into primary school.
Example is my son wanted to play football as all his peers where doing. His dad loves football & it's a real tough sport that boys are meant to be good at right? Well that's how it played out in my sons head but it was just not meant to be. He spent more times spinning around in circles at the back them playing. He didn't want anyone to touch him and wouldn't tackle anyone because he didn't want to touch anyone. So as you can guess it wasn't the right sport for him . Lucky we made sure he didn't feel like he had failed but it's hard for him .
Another one is going to the aquarium with friends. Rushing though half of the place because it was dark,flashing lights,lots of people , noisy ( it was set up to be like an under water cave show) so he didn't get to see the sea horses or the big crabs everyone was talking about that afternoon because he couldn't handle the overload on his sensors.
See what I mean, my heart breaks for him.
As I said I have only been a parent for just over 13 years and a special need parent for less so I am still learning , I will end up teaching my son to proud and happy with who he is that I am sure of.
I love him no matter what and I see so many wonderful things, gifts he has that I have not told you about today Next time I will because he is a special little boy 😁
Friday 17 June 2016
Self care - taking care of you
Why do we feel guilty when we do something for ourselves? when we take time out, get something only we enjoy or stop doing things for others so we can do something for ourselves .
Mothers are really good at feeling bad for wanting or needing selfcare.
It's exhausting being a mother, wife, daughter in law, friend, carer and all the other Hats that we put on everyday.
Why do we think we have to keep going?
In my opinion there is two different kinds of women
1. You think our families world will fall apart if you take time to do something for ourselves therefore don't find time. The I AM TO BUSY FOR THAT or WHERE WOULD I FIND THE TIME.
2. Feel guilty for even thinking of doing something for yourself because you see it as a privilege not a right.
Call it guilt or just not seeing it as important it comes down to the way you think about the whole SelfCare thing .
How do you see it?
Parenting --- Wifely duties --- Work ---- Chores ---- Friendships
Even the friendships we put on the work list so to speak.The things we should be doing.
So why don't we place selfcare onto our list?
We need to change the way we think, taking care of ourself is not an extra thing it is something we need to do.
So we can continue to do all the other things on our list.
So make a little rule in your head now; one thing a week I am going to do that I want to do.Selfcare.
Ideas:
Tell everyone in your family you are off dutie on Wednesday night between 7-8pm and go read a bed in bed with some candle & chocolate
Bubble bath
Get some head phones , find your fav music and spend some time walking on the treadmill
Go for a drive, get drive thru and park at a river watching the ducks swim around for a while
Go to the movies or an event you want to see
Pay for a massage or get your nails done
Go get your hair done
Get up on Saturday morning and head to the markets by yourself enjoy wondering where you want :)
Go enjoy xxx
Mothers are really good at feeling bad for wanting or needing selfcare.
It's exhausting being a mother, wife, daughter in law, friend, carer and all the other Hats that we put on everyday.
Why do we think we have to keep going?
In my opinion there is two different kinds of women
1. You think our families world will fall apart if you take time to do something for ourselves therefore don't find time. The I AM TO BUSY FOR THAT or WHERE WOULD I FIND THE TIME.
2. Feel guilty for even thinking of doing something for yourself because you see it as a privilege not a right.
Call it guilt or just not seeing it as important it comes down to the way you think about the whole SelfCare thing .
How do you see it?
Parenting --- Wifely duties --- Work ---- Chores ---- Friendships
Even the friendships we put on the work list so to speak.The things we should be doing.
So why don't we place selfcare onto our list?
We need to change the way we think, taking care of ourself is not an extra thing it is something we need to do.
So we can continue to do all the other things on our list.
So make a little rule in your head now; one thing a week I am going to do that I want to do.Selfcare.
Ideas:
Tell everyone in your family you are off dutie on Wednesday night between 7-8pm and go read a bed in bed with some candle & chocolate
Bubble bath
Get some head phones , find your fav music and spend some time walking on the treadmill
Go for a drive, get drive thru and park at a river watching the ducks swim around for a while
Go to the movies or an event you want to see
Pay for a massage or get your nails done
Go get your hair done
Get up on Saturday morning and head to the markets by yourself enjoy wondering where you want :)
Go enjoy xxx
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